


and miles to go

by LtTanyaBoone



Series: welcome to the Modern AU [3]
Category: Pan Am
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 21:03:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4681370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LtTanyaBoone/pseuds/LtTanyaBoone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>modern AU in which Kate and Colette go on a roadtrip</p>
            </blockquote>





	and miles to go

The wind blowing into the car is ruffling Colette’s hair. The blonde has one hand on the steering wheel, the other reaching up to push her sunglasses up on her head to keep her hair back. Kate watches as the sunlight reflects off of her friend’s watch and closes her eyes to concentrate on the feeling of the wind in her hair and the sunlight on her face as they drive along the French motorway, the signs and miles flying past.

 

* * *

It’s a spur-of-the-moment decision. Kate’s never made any of these before. Well, except for when she applied as a stewardess. Other than that, she’s been the poster child for good behavior. Mostly. Okay, compared to Laura, she’s the black sheep of the family and basically has no impulse control, but for once, Kate would like to not be compared to her goddamn sister.

They’ve just checked into the hotel, Colette and her rooming together again after what feels like a lifetime. The French woman has already gotten changed out of her uniform and Kate should probably do the same. But when she looks at her packed bag, Kate suddenly thinks about how easy it would be to just, walk away. Take her stuff and walk out of this room and out of this life that keeps making her feel like she’s suffocating and just… reinvent herself. She did try that when she started working at the airline, but her name and family wouldn’t quite leave her behind and then Laura had to go and follow her into the uniform and-

“Let’s go on a roadtrip.”

The words are out of her mouth before she can stop herself. Colette blinks at her in stunned confusion before she lowers herself onto her bed. She’s quiet for almost thirty seconds (Kate can hear the clock ticking and keeps counting) before she gives a curt nod.

“Okay,” the French stewardess simply says and gets up to throw her uniform into her suitcase. Kate swallows thickly and hesitates only for one second when Colette walks over to the door and holds it open for her. When it closes behind them, the click resonates in Kate’s head all the way down to the hotel lobby and out of the building.

 

* * *

They rent a red convertible. Colette pays for it. At least she leaves her details. French passports do come in handy, it seems, because Kate has a feeling the guy wouldn’t have let her rent that car, especially not five minutes before closing time.

Colette drives. Takes them out of the city and onto the motorway. They don’t talk much and Colette lets Kate decide on the directions. Other than that they both stay locked inside their own heads, Kate wondering if she just made the biggest mistake in her entire life.

The blonde turns on the radio and motions for Kate to look for a station after a while. Kate got changed at the first stop they made, out of her uniform into comfortable shorts and a shirt. Now in the car, she settles on French pop songs. They’re cheesy and upbeat and maybe Kate does it because as soon as the first notes fill the car, Colette is bobbing her head along to the beat and her fingers are drumming against the steering wheel. She looks happy, somehow. As if they haven’t just gotten themselves fired and are on a roadtrip to God-knows-where. Because Kate certainly doesn’t have a destination in mind. She keeps deciding randomly whenever they reach an exit. Her phone went off five times now, four of them were calls and one was a text. Colette’s is on mute sitting in the middle console, but Kate’s seen it light up a couple of times, too.

Perhaps this was a mistake, but she can’t make herself feel any regret. At least not yet. Right now she just watches the countryside fly past and listens to Colette sing along to the music under her breath.

 

* * *

Their next stop is almost six hours later, when they need gas and Kate’s stomach is grumbling. By now they’re way too far in the country to make their flight and with the knowledge comes a strange sense of calm. That her phone has stopped buzzing may be because Colette answered hers two hours ago. Kate was drifting off, suddenly feeling tired. She didn’t catch the entire conversation on Colette’s end and she’s not about to ask. This time, she opts for plausible deniability. She needs to pretend that everything is fine, that she hasn’t just made the biggest mistake of her life in order to keep going.

Colette steps out of the station with two ice cream cones and hands one over to her. Strawberry, Kate’s favorite. She gives her a smile and accepts the map the French woman bought with a raised eyebrow.

“Might as well find something to see along the way,” Colette shrugs, throwing her purse back into the car before she leans back against the door, engrossed with her ice cream. Kate watches her until she feels sticky wetness run down her hand and finds her ice cream melting in the French sun. She licks the worst of it away and unfolds the map, determined to find something that will make the fact that she probably cost her her job up to Colette. At least she’s going to give it her best effort.

 

* * *

They stop in a small fishing village halfway through the night. Colette’s fallen asleep in the passenger seat and Kate’s starting to feel drowsy herself so she pulls out her phone, ignores the twenty text messages from her sister and opens the browser to look for a place to spend the night. Thankfully, the elderly couple that rents out apartments to tourists has a vacancy and Kate’s French is good enough to convince her that they’re trustworthy, even though they show up shortly before midnight in a convertible with barely any luggage. Talk about traveling light.

There’s nothing in the fridge and the late hour means that the supermarket has been closed a long time ago, but Mme Evelyne provides them with some food (free of charge, once she realizes that Colette is a fellow countrywoman and not an American Tourist) and wishes them a good night. Kate lets Colette use the bathroom first. Shortly after she hears the water start running, the American stewardess closes her eyes, exhaustion taking over. She’s fast asleep before Colette returns.

 

* * *

The sunrise is beautiful. At least that’s what Colette tells her when she shows up from exploring the town and making small talk with its population. She’s dressed in a summer dress that’s barely reaching her knees, but Kate’s more interested in the coffee she brings back from her trip. She slept surprisingly well but still feels like something ran her over repeatedly. Colette simply hands her a paper cup and then sits down on the bed, watching her intently. It’s unnerving, the intensity of her stare, and Kate starts squirming within thirty seconds. She has no idea what to tell her if Colette starts asking questions. Has no idea what got into her the day before. Well, okay, deep down she knows why she made that suggestion, why she hoped that Colette would come along with her, but Kate’s not ready to admit it yet, even to herself, and she certainly isn’t ready to talk about it out loud.

Colette doesn’t ask, though. She just sits and watches Kate before she leans in and gives her a hug. With a “call your sister” and Kate’s cell phone placed in the redhead’s lap, the blonde disappears into the bathroom and then Kate can hear the shower start running and she’s left alone with her thoughts and the guilt of making Laura worry about her.

 

* * *

It’s her turn to drive and she picks a country road. Loads of beautiful views. There’s a wine museum with tasting a few miles east and Kate decides to make it their destination. Colette keeps snapping pictures out of the car randomly. At least Kate thinks it is random, she doesn’t know what Colette sees when she looks at the landscape flying past them. Maybe it reminds her of where she grew up. Kate frowns and wonders where exactly that was. Colette told her, once, during a late night conversation involving lots of alcohol. If Kate could remember, they might be able to visit the place. Then again, she’s pretty sure that Colette doesn’t want a trip down memory lane any more than Kate herself does. Perhaps making new memories is the way to go on this trip.

Colette picks up two bottles of wine at the museum shop as Kate is browsing the postcard section. She picks two on a whim, one with the museum and another with the surrounding valley. Later, at the motel where they crash for the night, she writes her sister on one. Tells Laura not to worry, that she is fine and having fun. The other card she keeps for herself. Tucks it into the book she’s reading after she’s written the date on it.

 

* * *

They cross the border to Italy early in the morning and make for the coast. Colette turns off the ignition and rummages through her bag until she’s found her bikini. Kate waits while she gets changed and then it’s her turn. When she steps out of the cabin, she tries not to look at Colette’s body, tries to keep her eyes firmly at head level. Emphasis on tries.

Colette is her best friend. She’s known her for years. It feels like Colette knows everything about her, knows Kate’s darkest thoughts and worst secrets. Except the one that Kate keeps shoving back into the deepest recesses of her mind whenever it dares to poke its head out.

The ocean is warm and Colette is giggling and splashing water at her and Kate shrieks before she retaliates. They splash around in the waves until their sides hurt from laughing and they go back to the beach to collapse onto their towels.

The sun is starting to burn down on them and people start joining them. The beach becomes populated and the spell of her and Colette being the only people in the world is broken.

When Kate looks at her friend, she finds that she has her eyes closed while reclining on her back, one arm thrown over her forehead. Her hair is still wet with salt water, there are water droplets littering her skin, along with the soft freckles. Kate sighs and quickly shakes her head before she says they should get up and find a place to eat. Much to her surprise, Colette lets out a reluctant “five more minutes” and doesn’t move. Kate finds herself agreeing willingly, even though she has to resist the urge to throw her arm over her friend’s stomach as she lies back down next to her. Just five more minutes of pretending. She can do that.

 

* * *

Their jobs mean they’ve been to Rome a countless number of times before and know all the tourist locations. Know them well enough to avoid them.

Colette doesn’t speak Italian, but Kate’s happy to be the interpreter. She let her handle most of the talking when they were in France and Colette seems happy enough to let Kate take over. They switch back and forth between English and French and Kate stops noticing what language they are talking in at the moment. It feels natural, this banter between them, and Colette gesticulating wildly as she explains things in her native language has always been one of Kate’s favorite sights.

They exchanged their convertible for something more reasonable. Smaller and with air conditioning. Rome traffic is notorious, so she’s surprised when Colette suggests renting a Vespa. They did this before, once, with the crew. But now it’s just them, Colette and her, and Kate tries hard to ignore the butterflies that take off in her stomach as Colette sits down behind her and wraps her arms around Kate’s middle to allow the redhead to weave into traffic.

 

* * *

It feels like a vacation when they’re sitting at a café across the street from the laundromat, waiting for their clothes to finish drying. They’ve put the map down on the table and are following the streets, looking up locations on their phones. Kate doesn’t miss how the waiters roll their eyes at the dumb tourists. The satisfaction she feels when she orders their drinks and pie in perfect Italian and makes the guy’s mouth hang open for a second does help with her annoyance, though Kate would never admit that out loud.

They settle on two more days in the city before they’re going to continue their trip. The next stop is going to be a castle that Colette suggests as some culture to pick up on their way across Europe. Kate agrees willingly.

 

* * *

She snaps a picture of Colette leaning against the battlement, face turned into the sun, a blissful smile on her face. Her freckles have become more pronounced, something the redhead’s never noticed before in all the summers they spent together. Kate’s pretty sure she’s caught a sunburn herself, her neck feels pretty hot. But it’s her own fault for turning down Colette’s offer to apply some sunscreen. It’s just that the thought of Colette touching her like that suddenly made it hard to swallow and she’d declined hastily.

Her feet feel like they’re about to fall off at the end of the day. She finds comfort in the pained groan Colette lets out when she collapses onto the bed in their motel room with a declaration that she will never be getting up again.

 

* * *

Kate sleeps through most of the ferry ride to Dubrovnik. She hates admitting it, but she tends to get seasick, so she figures if she’s asleep at least there’s a chance of her body not noticing what’s happening around it. It works, though she does feel kind of wobbly when they reach the shore.

Colette is almost hyper when they reach the city. Too little sleep, Kate figures, but she’s wide awake and the French woman way too wired to go to bed, so they find a place for the night, get changed and go out again.

The club is crowded, there is barely room enough to stand, never mind dance. Colette holds onto Kate’s hand and pulls her onto the dancefloor. When she starts moving, people give them a little more space. Kate’s not interested in dancing herself, she just makes a half-hearted attempt at moving along to the beat. It’s much more fun watching Colette dance and forget her surroundings as the beat pulses through her body, so Kate soon withdraws to the bar, where she spends the following hours watching her friend dance the night away.

Perhaps she shouldn’t have done that, Kate thinks almost four hours later when she’s lying in bed and images of her best friend dancing keep flashing behind her closed eyes.

 

* * *

She kisses Colette on the beach of Petrčane, Croatia. Okay, it’s not exactly the beach but more the ocean and they’ve swum out far enough that it’s hard to stand and the waves keep making it hard to stay together. Colette grabs her and pulls her close and she throws her head back and laughs and in that moment, Kate is so tired of pretending that she simply gives up and leans in.

Colette is shocked for a second and goes rigid but then her hands leave Kate’s under the water to snake into her hair and pull her close and she’s kissing her back and even with her head above the water, the redhead suddenly feels like she’s drowning. Much to her surprise, Kate finds she absolutely doesn’t care at all.

 

* * *

They spring for an actual hotel in Zagreb and decide to stay in the city for a few days. Which might be a good idea, because on the first three, they don’t leave their room even once.

Colette’s skin is so soft and Kate can’t stop touching her in every waking moment. She’s never been with another woman before, was way too scared to admit even to herself that she might want to be, but with Colette, it’s different. She has something about her that makes Kate’s world narrow down until there only the two of them left. Colette kisses her like she’s drowning and it’s almost like Kate can still taste salt water and sunshine on her lips. She doesn’t care that Kate has no idea what she’s doing in the beginning, just keeps guiding her until Kate’s name falls from her lips in a breathless whisper and Kate thinks she might actually be in love.

 

* * *

Colette draws patterns on her back when Kate is attempting to fall asleep. At first she tries to figure out what they are, aside from swirls and spirals and circles. If they might be forming a bigger picture. But then Kate grows tired and closes her eyes and just concentrates on Colette’s touch. She’s gentle, the touch barely there, and then there are pauses in the movements before Colette stops, her hand resting on Kate’s bare back before she scoots closer. Kate feels her press a kiss to her side and then Colette lets out a soft sound before her breathing evens out and she’s fallen fast asleep.

 

* * *

She is. In love, that is.

The realization comes at the border crossing into Austria. The officer keeps flipping through their passports and asking questions and frowns and talks with his colleague. Kate tenses, wondering what might be wrong as they wait next to the car. Colette watches her, her brows furrowed, before she takes her hands and simply kisses her.

“It’s fine, they’re just doing their jobs,” she mutters against Kate’s lips before she kisses her again and Kate lets out a soft sigh before she melts against her (girl?)friend, hugs her and rests her head against Colette’s shoulder.

 

* * *

Vienna is lovely and charming and rainy. Colette twirls her umbrella as she waits outside the bakery, trusting Kate to pick something that she will like all the same. She’s wearing a blouse and skirt that barely reaches her knees and Kate can’t make herself take her eyes off her. It makes the woman behind the counter clear her throat when it’s Kate’s turn and laugh at the redhead’s blush.

“Your girlfriend?” she asks and Kate nods with a thick swallow. She knows some German, but not enough to explain the situation and even if she did, she isn’t entirely sure what she would say to a complete stranger. With a wink, the woman grabs a small bag of assorted cookies and hands them over to Kate, telling her they’re on the house.

The cookies are delicious as they devour them on the way to a museum, Colette’s arm wrapped around Kate’s hip so walking is kind of hard as they keep stumbling against each other. But it’s nice, being this close to Colette and sneaking in kisses every couple of steps and Kate doesn’t want that to end. Ever.

 

* * *

They get absolutely smashed on Czech liqueur and absinthe. Colette groans and keeps her sunglasses on the entire day after. There is not enough coffee in the world to properly wake Kate up and the light is much too bright for her liking.

Kate picks a guided forest tour the day after their hangover and even though Colette doesn’t look all that happy at the beginning, she does seem to enjoy herself. At least she pecks Kate’s lips during one of the breaks and tells her she likes the feeling of these dense woods. They hold hands whenever possible, and Kate is almost disappointed when they step out of the woods and Colette drops her hand. It takes her a second to realize the blonde is racing her for the car and by then Kate knows she’s unable to catch up with her. Doesn’t stop her from trying, though.

 

* * *

She’s never been to Prague before. Colette has, a number of times, actually. She knows the inner city streets almost as well as those in Paris and Kate is kind of impressed.

This time, they do the tourist things. Like visit the castle and its museums and take a stroll down Charles bridge. Colette forces her into the Kafka museum, too and it’s kind of eery inside. Kate reads the plagues and keeps thinking about how much the world has changed within a century and how it continues to. It suddenly gives her hope and she can’t help but wonder if that wasn’t Colette’s intention when she pulled her inside.

On their walk back across the bridge, Colette stops and pulls out her iPod, holding the earbuds out to Kate, who takes them with a roll of her eyes. She’s looking out over the water when the song begins to play, filling her ears and heart. It’s a beautiful piece, one that seems vaguely familiar to Kate. It fits the mood perfectly, sounds like Prague’s spirit captured in the form of a song.

Colette steps up behind her and wraps her arms around Kate’s middle as she watches the river and the city sprawling along it. Her lips are warm and soft as she presses a gentle kiss against Kate’s neck and the redhead feels her sigh before the French woman rests her head on her shoulder.

The further up North they get, the more it feels to Kate like their trip is coming to a close. Something she sorely wants to avoid. Because this roadtrip ending means she’ll have to go back to reality, and reality means work, it means her sister and more than that, reality means her and Colette are only friends. Kate wants to stay, she doesn’t want this bubble of careless travel they have created to burst. Wants to freeze this moment, standing on Charles Bridge with Colette, and hold onto it forever.

 

* * *

A thunderstorm confines them to their motel room. After two hours, Colette throws down her book and lets out an exasperated sigh before she gets up and turns on the stereo. Kate listens to her searching for a station. When she looks up, she finds Colette bopping her head along to the tunes coming from the radio. She crosses the room and pulls the magazine from Kate’s hands before pulling her up to dance, ignoring Kate’s initial protests and cutting them off with a kiss.

And dance they do, until they’re out of breath and their sides are sore from laughing.

Colette hugs her and clings to her, holds on for dear life. It surprises Kate, the intensity of the moment, how it shifts from just the two of them having fun to what almost  feels like desperation. Perhaps she isn’t the only one who doesn’t want this trip to end.

 

* * *

It’s raining when they pull into the parking space of their motel in Dresden and the two of them make a mad dash for the door, laughing and dripping all over the floor as they tumble inside.

They’re tired and just take off their wet clothes and climb beneath the covers, too exhausted for anything else than a soft kiss.

When Kate wakes up, she finds Colette half on top of her, her warm breath tickling Kate’s neck whenever she exhales. She reaches up and runs a hand through the other woman’s hair, kissing her forehead. Colette twitches and mumbles something before she buries her face in the pillow after Kate extracts herself from her embrace. She gets dressed and goes out to find them something to eat, ignoring how much she would like to simply draw the blinds and go back to bed with Colette.

 

* * *

Kate is quiet as they buy the tickets for their flight back to the States. Kate doesn’t want to go back. She wants to stay in Europe, with Colette. Wants to stay on the road and have adventures and make more memories with her. She shows her passport upon request and allows herself to be searched. When she steps out of the line again, she finds Colette already waiting for her and quickly takes her hand.

She pretends to sleep most of the flight. Colette reads sitting next to her, holding Kate’s hand and rubbing her thumb over the back gently, subconsciously.

In her luggage, there’s a stack of postcards from every time they stopped anywhere, all with dates on them. She wishes she’d put them into her carry-on, at least then Kate would have something to hold onto.

 

* * *

The  air in her apartment is stale. Kate throws back the curtains and opens the windows wide before she sinks onto her bed and pulls off the scarf she’d been wearing on the plane. It’s a gift, Colette bought it for her at their last stop in Copenhagen. Kate had been admiring the texture and the color when the French woman had told her to try it on. She’d refused, it had been way too expensive for her taste. How on earth Colette had managed to still pick it up, Kate has no idea. She just knows that the same evening, Colette told her to close her eyes and when she did, Kate felt her wrap the scarf around her neck. Before they packed their stuff, she sprayed it with Colette’s perfume, now it still smells like her and when Kate closes her eyes, she can almost pretend that Colette is there with her.

Kate told her to go home. Check on her apartment. She’s not sure, maybe there was confusion on Colette’s face when she said it, but the blonde didn’t protest, either. It’s better this way, Kate tells herself. To stop it right after landing. Because they are back now and whatever it was between them, it was confined to Europe. But this is the States and here, Colette is her best friend and only her friend.

With a sigh, she stands and grabs her bag to unpack. She’s halfway through sorting her dirty clothes when there’s a knock on her door. Upon opening, she finds Colette standing there, sunglasses pushed up into her hair.

“My apartment is fine, Bridget took care of everything,” she says. When Kate blinks at her, Colette takes a step towards her, her hands going up to touch Kate’s cheeks and then she kisses her.

“And I already miss you,” Colette mumbles between kisses and Kate takes a few seconds to realize they’re still in her doorway. She wraps her arms around Colette and pulls her into the apartment. The door closes with a click as they’re already stumbling through her living room, shedding clothes on their way to Kate’s bedroom.

Maybe Kate was wrong. Maybe this shouldn’t be confined to Europe, but instead be allowed to travel with them wherever they go.

_fin._

 


End file.
